Journal pages
Inspiration

The archive of a life.

Thursday
11Jun2009

First day

I survived my first day of training at SLT, and as first days go, it wasn't bad. There are, reportedly, 10,000 items in the store, so you can imagine my confusion when asked about the whereabouts of a certain cherry pitter that appeared in the last catalog. "Let's see. I know I saw that somewhere." So much to learn. And new stock coming in all of the time.

I liked my coworkers, who were beyond patient with my constant questions. But it was a relief to finish the first day, to get beyond the fear and anxiety that I had been feeling leading up to yesterday. Not that I don't feel the same things today, but I'm not overwhelmed by them right now. I just want to keep learning so I can begin to feel comfortable and enjoy the place and the people. It will happen if I'm patient with myself and others. And hey. I didn't cry last night, which is a good sign after a first day. 

Wednesday
10Jun2009

Truly...a new beginning

Today I begin my training with Sur la Table. Most of us, at some point in our lives, and for a variety of reasons, have to start over. I never felt entirely secure at the Times. I remember several times in those years thinking to myself that things were too easy. I had a fairly comfortable income, at least for one person, with health benefits. But I felt a weird sense that that at some point everything would fall apart. And indeed it did.

So now is my "do over" period. I have to admit I'm terrified and have had a rough couple of days leading up to this day, almost to the breaking point when I was going to call the store manager and tell her I wasn't going to accept the job after all. Oh Lord. What a mess that would have been. The Franklin Roosevelt quote, "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" has become my mantra. Fear destroys any chance for moving ahead into a better life. 

The job at Sur la Table pays little and has no health benefits. And I'm still waiting to hear if I've been accepted by an insurance company that is less expensive than Cobra. I'm scared. This isn't where I thought I'd be at this tender age of 56. But it is where I've found myself, and must be dealt with. And this is a beginning, not the end of the road. Many good things may be around the corner. 

I've always felt sympathy for those who had so little. I know that I'm lucky because I was able to get by with a heaven-sent inheritance from my uncle. I haven't had to feed little stomachs, or find a way to put shoes on kids whose single pair have been out-grown and worn through. I've been able to keep up my bills, where many others have not only lost jobs but homes and all sense of what a normal life had been like until then. I don't pretend to even begin to know or understand what those lives, that kind of worry and stress, must be like. But my own experience has provided me with a deeper empathy for the thousands who are struggling through these times. My heart goes out to them.

And I wonder, for those who've been lucky enough to be hired recently, if like me, they feel not only a sense of relief, but a sense of never feeling safe again. Will I like the job? Will management and coworkers like and respect me? Will I fail? All of those negative self doubts that destroy my confidence. I've had to work on this stuff my whole life, but each time I take a risk, however slight, the end result has been positive. Getting there is tough.

I wish my faith were stronger. I do know that when I turn to God, and to what I call my angel spirits--Dad, my aunts Sally and Nanty Kay, Gregor and my grandparents--when I really believe they are walking with me, I feel comforted. Just writing out these thoughts calms me. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I feel a little more prepared now, so off I go. 

Tuesday
02Jun2009

Good news

When it rains it pours? How 'bout when the sun finally breaks through after a long, grey season it feels like anything is possible. Well, that's what today feels like to me.

I have two pieces of good news. The first is that my piece "Old Growth" that I had entered in a competition for Design Matters was chosen for a runner-up prize. (No money, just embroidery threads.) But still kind of cool. I posted the piece in my felt journal previously, but here it is again.

Second piece of news is even more exciting. I've been hired by Sur la Table for a part-time sales position at their Kirkland store. Exciting and frightening to be going back to work after a year. I'll write later about those feelings, but wanted to get out the news.

Tuesday
12May2009

Wing Luke Asian Museum

A couple of weeks ago, I had the good fortune to take a personal tour of the Wing Luke Museum in Seattle's International District. My guide was Michelle Kumata, a friend and former colleague from The

Seattle Times who has now turned her talents to work as a community liaison for the museum. Michelle was a terrific host, and obviously felt a strong connection to the museum's mission. Here are some snippets from my tour.

Pride of culture, authentic details, community involvement, artists' conceptions and Northwest diversity are all themes that the Wing Luke promotes. An exhibit such as Ho'omau Ka Hauka'i: Native Hawai'ians in the Pacific Northwest, took root in the local Hawaiian community. Displays such as the garage barbecue with food and music celebrate cultural traditions. Multimedia, films and readings may also contribute to our understanding of the culture. 

Examples of Hawaiian bark cloth

The original home for this stunning advertising scrim was on Capitol Hill, but now it's found a new place of residence in the auditorium at Wing Luke. Notice the rectangles in the center of the scrim that appear to have a thin layer of white paint on them. If an advertiser hadn't payed their bill their portion of the sign would be white washed over. How's that for being held accountable?

Prayers, wishes, hopes. Joy. Sorrow. What do you see and feel when looking at this beautiful image? 

The architect included some of the existing walls from the old museum (seen here) in his plans for the restoration. With a bench placed nearby, this spot is one of several places positioned for contemplation and appreciation of the displays. 

 Fascinating multimedia presentations are placed throughout the museum. The ingredients in this stir-fry video appear two dimensional. Hear the sizzle of the vegetables hitting the hot pan, the scratching of the metal spatula making a quick toss. All that's missing is the burn of hot oil on your hand. It's an amazing piece of work.

Visit the Wing Luke Museum. Not only is it a strong educational resource for the community, it's a great place to take out-of-town guests.

www.wingluke.org

719 S King St
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 623-5124

 

 

Monday
11May2009

Woman at work

Later in the week I'll be posting a couple of new felt pieces, some journal pages about volunteering and a tour of a recent trip I took to Wing Luke Museum in Seattle's International District. So check back for some ideas and a little inspiration.